Friday, February 17, 2012

Reviewaverse Saga Episode 7 (Part 1)

Matt Burkett's Reviewaverse Saga, an ambitious love letter to everything geek created on his own dime, has come to an end after the sixth episode of a planned seven episode run. Though he has made public his original plans for the finale, that version will never see the light of day.

But that doesn't have to be the end of the story. That first vision wasn't the only conclusion to the series that was ever planned. There was also the version I wrote.

Despite appearances, what follows is not self-insertion fan-fiction.

What follows is instead is an adaptation of what I actually pitched to Matt Burkett as the seventh episode of 'Apollo Z. Hack: A Reviewaverse Saga'. For a time it had a good chance of being the official final episode to the series.

Let me back up a bit.

In the summer of 2011, a few months after Matt had made the decision to leave the series unfinished, internet personalities Linkara and Jew Wario (Lewis Lovhaug and Justin Carmical respectively) expressed interest in being involved and seeing the series completed. It was shortly after that Matt asked me to be involved.

He'd been impressed with the cameo I'd done for the sixth episode. The two of us had been talking about a collaboration since. It was at his insistence, not mine, that I be given a larger acting role.

(The genesis of my involvement.)

After the second or third variation of the story Matt had brainstormed, and after many discussions between the two of us on the subject, I got permission to try my hand. The idea was to create something which was strong enough that it would stand alone for those who weren't familiar with the series but also serve as a satisfying conclusion to the series to those who'd been invested in the series for its then 18 month run.

It does need to be said that this is an early version. There are plot holes and it rushes through several key events. I feel though that the people who've been with this series for the last two years deserve some kind of closure; at this point, for better or worse, this is as close to an official seventh episode as there is likely to ever be (Matt's new project, 'How I Spent My Doomsday', is an entirely new undertaking and is not connected in any way to AZH or the Reviewaverse).

I also ask your patience. This isn't a copy-paste job; I'm taking the time to flesh out and polish the story considerably. Given how long so many have waited I refuse to rush it, but I also have heavy commitments in the next few months. This will be released in parts to lessen the waiting time.

I dedicate it to every fan the series has ever had. And to Linkara and J-Dub, whose enthusiasm gave the series a second chance.


A corrupted stream of data flashes across the frame. Fragments of dialogue and flashes of images from past and current events. "...savior or destroyer..." "Nerdaria..." There's a sea of distorted faces. Other reviewers. The word 'DECEASED' appears under most. "...the Reviewaverse will fall." Images of wide-spread devastation. Apollo's face lingers briefly on the screen. 'UNKNOWN'.

Inter-cut with this we see two dusty and scuffed black dress shoes stumbling through a desert. Periodically a mini-disk falls into the sand amidst the rough Arizonian vegetation.

"There's got to be someone left." A male voice, rough from the desert air.

A female computer voice confirms; "No reviewers detected."

"Just give me a name."

"No reviewers detected."

The man stops and another mini-disk falls to the ground.

"Give me a name, damn it!"

Corrupted garbled speech.

The man sighs. He takes off his glasses and wipes dirt and sweat from his eyes. For the first time we see him; the Trenchcoat Anti-Critic. There's more than a little wear-and-tear in his trademark trenchcoat, and Trenchie's pockets are stuffed to overflowing with colorful information disks. The battered computer device in his hand crackles before going silent. He lets the hand drop to his side.

"So that's it then, they're all gone."




High above in the Earth's atmosphere, Linkara's spaceship is crashing.

Warning lights flash in the smoking control panel. There's a loud "whoop" which repeats itself twice a second. Linkara flips a switch on the controls above his head, wincing slightly as it sends out a small shower of sparks down towards his head. A female voice chirps up from the computer system.

"Impact eminent. It's recommended you pull up, Linkara."

"What do you think I'm trying to do!?"

A lighted button above Linkara's head flickers and dies. He pounds it a couple times with his fist; it doesn't come back on.

He swears, then says; "Computer, prepare for evacuation teleportation procedure."

"Acknowledged. Preparing for-"

"Wait. Belay that order."


Linkara frantically searches his person; it's missing!

"Computer, stand by for transport. In the meantime give me a countdown until impact."

"Acknowledged. Time to impact: 27 seconds... 26 seconds..."

Linkara races back to his quarters. He searches with urgency through the room, throwing books and trinkets onto the floor.

"13 seconds... 12 seconds..."

He spots what he's looking for under a bench. He dives for it, knocking his hat off on the seat portion now above him. As Linkara's hand closes on the morphing unit he all but forgets about the hat momentarily.

"5 seconds..."

Linkara jams the fedora on his crown with his free hand and yells. "Fucking energize!"


Linkara is teleported out just in time, landing hard on the ground. He's far enough away for safety, but close enough for the crashing ship to be in full devastating view behind him.

"I wish I could've done better for you, old girl."

* * * *
In the sand is a damaged wearable tech device... Obscurus Lupa's Lupad. A hand gloved in red armor reaches down and picks it up. The hand's owner, Cinera in full Revuer 2 armor, holds it up for a better look.

"You're sure it was him?"

From behind her Ares steps out, alive and very nearly unscathed. A scorch mark on his arm is the only indication of his fight with Apollo.


"So, he survived..."

"Your deductive reasoning astounds me."

Cinera crushes Lupa's communicator. "Still, that he crushed that little loose end says a great deal."

"If he could be turned, he'd make a powerful ally."

"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Ares." She bends down again to look at Lupa's backpack. After finding the zipper jammed, Cinera slices it open with a clawed finger. Electronics and wires spill out like the innards of a fallen beast. From these technological guts she draws out the third Revuer unit.

She holds it tenderly in her hands. "The undeserving have had their day, Ares. Their sun has set. What once fell is risen again."

"Talking like that doesn't make you sound smarter."